I spent my entire day with an alcoholic half way out of denial. I say half way because although she admits that she has a drinking problem and needs help, she is not yet ready to let go and trust that the road to recovery can not be done her way, hence, the need for rehab. The quandary was that I saw that I knew that my way was the right way. I was right a lot today but I kept it all in my head. I saw my price for being right was too high. She had already admitted and committed to checking in to rehab first thing in the morning.
The only thing I was going to get out of being right was that she would get upset with me and possibly risk our trip to the treatment center. It did not matter that what she was telling me made no sense. Nevertheless, I found myself struggling to keep quiet and to keep my advice to myself when I could so clearly see the decisions that would serve her best.
I know I slipped up at least a couple of times and I saw her body language shift. I was able to catch it and shift myself quickly enough to remedy the atmosphere I had created without major damage. I still have a 9 AM appointment with her to take a drive to a hospital in the morning. At the end of my day, I had very little tolerance for not being right anymore. I was drained. That is when my phone rang.
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I got a phone call from someone who could run for president of Righteous Town-and win. I let him have it. I am right about this. I was screaming. It was not my shiniest moment. I have lots of stories about how he deserved it and how he really is wrong and how maybe he reminded me a little of another righteous person in my life.
There was a way to communicate with him with compassion. There was a way for me to hold him to his highest possibility. Maybe that way was simply by not picking up the phone. I knew what the call was going to be about. He just called me when I wanted to take it out on someone. What I remembered now, hours later, is that there is only love and fear.
Because I make up that he was not coming from love, I also get to make up that he was coming from fear.
Are you sure?
Who am I to judge? If he is frightened by something, why should I rub his face in it? This is where compassion comes in. The way out of this prison of righteousness is by having compassion for all creatures and nature. Compassion is love. I get to check in with myself again. Maybe this time, instead of trying to control what I am being right about, I can just choose to come from love all the time. It is always the same premise. Something occurs and I end up in a room with padded walls. I am in my own space, on my single bed surrounded by nothing and covered with a neat little white blanket.
Every once in a while, I venture out to another larger room where there is a small TV and scattered people wearing my same sexy outfit are mirroring my actions. None of us talk. None of us make eye contact. Forget a trip to Europe, Hawaii, or an exotic beach.
Been there, done that. Check me into a mental hospital. At the hospital, I get to let go of everything with minimal consequences. I get to disconnect and not be responsible for anything or anyone. There must be a way to only let go of a little bit at a time. It must begin with the realization that things will go on with or without me. How do I want people to remember me when I am gone? Although that is a quality I am happy I possess, it is not who I am. It is merely what I do. Who I am must be about me being in contribution.
How do I make an impact on the lives of people around me? Where does the doing come in? It is this back and forth that makes me nuts. Therefore the sage says: I take no action and people are reformed. I enjoy peace and people become honest. I do nothing and people become rich.
If I keep from imposing on people, they become themselves.
Is it me or does this sound wholly paradoxical? How in the world do I change people by doing nothing? Does deliberate creation count as action? Take the following example; I have a dear friend who requires help with recovery from substance abuse. I have skirted the subject with her, never really willing to put my ass on the line enough to have an honest, vulnerable conversation with her about it. I would like to see you check yourself into rehab. How can I help? These words are just too difficult. So I have talked to her friends in order to put together an intervention as a group without having gone as far as actually doing it.
But I have meditated and prayed on it. I have spent hours hoping she comes to the realization herself that she needs help. What happened? Last week, I heard she reached to her best friend because she recognized that she had a problem. Did I have something to do with that? I like to think I did. I did a lot; just none of it was confrontational with her specifically. How does this mode of thinking affect peace?
They hypothesized that they could drop D. Once the study was over the results indicated that the crime rate did, indeed, drop by By us enjoying peace we create peace. This is part of the reason I actually do believe that I will see peace in my lifetime. Everyday I see people acting in ways that I did not see before I started looking. Today I see people meditating to get closer to God. I see young people who are open to different ways of thinking and being.
81 Months in Contemplation | Living the Tao Te Ching
I know we are on our way. What is rich really? Prosperity is different things to different people. To me rich is having my family around me; having my husband with me always; enjoying good health. Being happy is raising honest, open and grateful children. Being prosperous is accepting the tools and gifts I have been given and serving others with it. I guess that doing nothing to me means that I do not seek to be rich but I become rich by being a source for those riches.
They come to me. I can chase riches until I am dead but in that chase, I am in scarcity. It is impossible to become rich while standing in not having enough. This is my favorite. I have to say that I have become good at it. It has been hardest at work. Instead of micromanaging, I am allowing them to do it their way. It has not been easy to not interfere when I see my sales numbers slumping. I am standing back and letting them learn on their own. They all know the prices and the payoffs. All of them have worked with me long enough to know them. Although this way of being is simple, it is not effortless.
It actually causes me to stay in my head a lot of the time, hence the mental checkout fantasy. Sometimes I still feel that this is all too much. Maybe what I can do is start looking out the window of my padded room. I am sure there is a beach out there where I am also sitting on a lounge chair drinking a virgin pina colada with perfectly not-frizzy hair in a tiny violet string bikini surrounded by my family and friends.
I will meditate on a different kind of vacation. If you want to be a great leader, you must learn to follow the Tao. How do I know this is so? Because in this world, the greater the restrictions and prohibitions, the more people are impoverished; the more advanced the weapons of state, the darker the nation; the more artful and crafty the plan, the stranger the outcome; the more laws are posted, the more thieves will appear. There seems to be a theme in my Tao studies: let go of control. It is perfect how, not knowing anything about the Tao prior to picking it up, and having only heard it referenced to by Wayne Dyer, I chose this book as my vehicle for growth for the next six years.
The difficulty for me these days is that I really like controlling. Being without you is all a big mistake. When I am in control things usually go well. I am usually pretty clear of what the outcome to most situations is going to be. I get to make it whatever I want. I almost always get what I want and I almost always end up looking good in the end. When I am responsible things get done quickly.
In my book, that is still an A. So what if no one learns anything in the process? At least whatever we were up to got done. When I run things, people follow. I give direction and we all look good in the end. When I am in charge, I have fun. It is pure adrenaline. How in the world am I supposed to let go of control if no one else steps up whenever I do? Teach a man to fish? I get that when I do for people I enable them to stay in their smallness.
I hand them their payoffs on a silver platter. My trouble with control is like my trouble with caffeine. I know I get to let them go so I can grow. It is just that they both feel so good to have. So after three and a half months of contemplating the Tao, I got the message. Find a way to let go and let God. It is the only way to come closer to God and to my authentic self. I will start with my payoffs. Being that my ability to control is in itself a payoff to a great part of my behavior pattern, there has to be an underlining driver behind my unwillingness to let go.
"dr. wayne dyer"
I believe that factor is faith. So how do I get to faith? I took time to go through a visual meditation a few days ago. I imagined what the lives of people around me would be like if I were not here. After I took out the emotional variable of how that would make them feel, I pictured my family. I saw that Ashley would go to college. Her homework would get done. Her wedding dress would get fitted.
She would pass her drivers test. I saw that Victoria would play with her BFF. Living Beyond Worldly Pleasures.
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Living in Obscurity. As you do, your world will begin to reflect a gentle, low-key soul who outlasts those who measure their strength by how much status they have compared to their peers. Living in Simplicity. Living Within Your Own Nature. Living Wholeness. Living by Returning and Yielding.
Living Beyond Appearances. Living by Melting into Harmony. Living Softly. Living by Knowing When to Stop. Living Beyond Superficialities. Now, what else would you like to know? Living Peacefully. Wisdom connects you to your heart in …recognize the difference between striving for more facts and being in the world that is complete as it is. This is the way of Peace. Worship it. Feel safe in the force that remains hidden.
This is all you need to feel complete. This beginning is the Mother of the world. Closed mouth — spirit connection excellent! Living Honorably. Living by Letting Go. Living by Silent Knowing. Living Without Authoritarianism. Living Untroubled by Good or Bad Fortune. Living by Thrift and Moderation. Living with Immunity to Evil. I choose not to have any thoughts of harm directed to anyone by me. Love, kindness, and help…. Wayne Dyer by Ann Marie Ganness. In stock online Not available in stores.
Wayne Dyer by Tony Robbin. On August 29, , the world lost Dr. Wayne Dyer, an acclaimed philosopher, self-help guru, and motivational icon. As an author of some of the bestselling self-help books of all time, Dyer became a hero to millions. But as celebrated motivation blogger and…. Audio Book CD. Ships within weeks Not available in stores. When media personality Lisa Garr and motivational master Dr. Dyer get together to talk, it's always a thought-provoking, mind-expanding conversation.
In this 7-CD set of live, unplugged radio interviews, Lisa draws out of Wayne some of the most personal…. Out of stock online Not available in stores. Dyer views intention as a force in the universe that allows the act of creation to take place. In this volume, he explores intention as an energy everyone is a part of. He identifies the attributes of the all-creating universal mind of intention as creative,…. From a very personal viewpoint, Dyer offers a blueprint through the world of inspiration--a person's ultimate calling.
Excuses Begone! Dyer is a psychotherapist, a motivational speaker, and a writer. He received a doctorate in counseling psychotherapy. Dyer's first book, Your Erroneous Zones, became a best seller. He wrote other self-improvement books including Staying on the Path, Your….
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