Yes, you'd still get rejected, but it wouldn't be a big deal to you, so it wouldn't be a problem. Now, you might listen to this, and say, yes, I know, Dave, if I didn't feel any pain, anger or fear of rejection, it wouldn't be a problem for me, but guess what? I can't help how I feel.
That's just how I feel whenever I'm rejected. If that's the problem, then that is the biggest problem. If that is how you feel, if you feel completely helpless to change the way you feel whenever you get rejected, this is extremely stressful. It's the reason rejection hurts so much, because there's this idea of guaranteed pain, guaranteed suffering, and you feel helpless to do anything about that. So of course rejection is terrifying, if you feel helpless to do anything about this kind of guaranteed pain. So the good news is that this course is going to completely solve your problems with rejection, because you're going to learn step-by-step how to change the way you feel about rejection so that rejection isn't a big deal or a problem for you anymore.
You'll be able to deal with it just fine, and by being able to change how you feel about rejection, and knowing exactly what to do, you're going to feel empowered. So instead of feeling helpless, you feel much stronger and more confident, and you're not going to be intimidated by rejection anymore, because you know you can change how you feel and deal with it really easily. Now that you know this, let's get started tackling the steps for overcoming the pain, anger and fear of rejection. Step 1: it's really important that you have a clear direction in your mind about what you want to achieve.
A big mistake I see people make is they say, "I don't want to have any pain, anger and fear of rejection. I don't want to feel that way anymore. Well, that's great, but until you know how you want to feel instead, nothing is going to happen. To understand this, think about getting into a taxi at the airport, and you tell the taxi driver, "I don't want to be at the airport anymore". The taxi driver might say okay, and be ready to take you somewhere, but until you have a clear direction or a destination to go in, you're not going anywhere.
The same is true in this case.
How to Deal With Rejection + Rejection Therapy Ideas
You might not want to suffer any pain and fear of rejection, but until you have a clear goal ahead, instead, nothing's going to happen. For this reason, right now, set a really clear goal in your mind, like: "I want to achieve becoming completely comfortable with rejection so that it's always no big deal and never an issue for me".
This is a clear goal that you can hit, and the way you know you've hit the goal is you make the changes you learn in this course, then you get rejected, and you realize: hey this isn't a big deal to me, anymore. And that's how you know you've achieved this phenomenal success. So, if you want to achieve this, and you have set this goal, you've already done something huge. Step 2: you have absolutely got to know why you want to overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection and become comfortable with it, even if no one else in the world wants you to create this change.
Well, you've got to think if it like this. You've got this destination you want to go to for becoming comfortable with rejection so that it's no big deal to you, but your motivation is what's going to get you to your destination. It's like the fuel for your journey. Now, the most important thing of all is being self-motivated, meaning you want this.
You're going to do this even if no one else in the world wants it for you, even if no one else in the world wants to help you achieve it. Now how do you create this really powerful self motivation that makes you unstoppable, and pretty much guarantees you can reach your destination?
Okay, so here's what's in it for you in overcoming the pain, anger and fear rejection, so that it becomes no big deal to you. First of all, you're going to be completely free of stress and anger whenever you're rejected, so this is going to be like headache relief, because you don't have this kind of stress and turmoil in your life.
You're also not just becoming free of negative value, you're gaining enormous positive value, because you're gaining peace of mind, and you're gaining a lot more happiness in life. You naturally are going to be always more calm and relaxed and enjoy life more, just because rejection isn't this big deal or this problem for you anymore. So it's great. Also you'll now be completely free from a lot of the pain and fear of rejection that most people experience.
Again, you're going to be free of this headache that is causing so much pain in your life. That'll just be gone, and you'll enjoy immediate relief and feel so good. And being free of the fear is tremendous because not only does it feel so good to not be afraid of rejection anymore, but its also going to lead to things like greater self-esteem and greater self-confidence. As you can imagine, if you don't have any fear rejection anymore, you feel much better about yourself and your capabilities, and your self esteem goes way up, and your self confidence goes through the roof, because you're not crippled by this fear of rejection holding you back anymore.
So you become a much stronger person overall, and an important side effect is that by having more self-esteem and self-confidence, you naturally are going to enjoy much more success in life, because think about it: the fear of rejection will not be holding you back anymore.
Instead of being intimidated to put yourself in situations, you're not going to have that obstacle anymore. It's just going to be much easier for you to go out and achieve things you want to achieve without the fear of rejection holding you back. And with higher self-esteem and higher self confidence, you're guaranteed to enjoy more success in life on automatic pilot.
It just works out for you in every single way. Once you appreciate all of this, you are fueled and ready to go on your journey. Because by understanding all these benefits, this creates such powerful self-motivation which will make it really easy for you to achieve your goal. So now let's get started on this journey by deciding something very important. First of all, how are you going to get where you want to go? You know that you want to become fine and comfortable with rejection, so that it's no big deal to you anymore, and you've got all the motivation in the world to get there, but how are you going to do it?
There are many different routes that you can take to arrive at any destination. The name of the game is to select the route that is the fastest, easiest, most effective, most beneficial, and safest. You want the best route. That's what you're aiming for, so with this in mind, let's consider some routes that people take to try to deal with rejection, and decide which one is the best of all.
A very common strategy, first of all, that people have for dealing with rejection is to deal with it with alcohol or pills. The idea is you numb yourself to the pain of rejection with alcohol, so you don't feel their pain anymore. Or you overcome the fear of rejection by drinking alcohol, and then going out and putting yourself in a situation where you might get rejected.
7 Effective Ways to Deal with Rejection in Relationships
The classic example is a guy or a girl at a bar drinking shots of alcohol -- a so-called shot of courage -- to go over and ask someone out. The idea here is that this alcohol takes away the pain and the fear. This is a terrible strategy for dealing with the pain, fear and anger of rejection, because you are not taking anything away at all. You are temporarily impairing your brain so you don't feel certain things, but guess what? The moment the alcohol wears off, that pain, anger and fear return. It's never really gone. You just temporarily had blocked yourself from feeling it.
Even worse, you are killing your self-confidence if you go this route, because you're saying: hey, I'm not strong enough to deal with rejection. I need something like alcohol to help me. This will really crush your spirit, and it is just so bad for you in so many different ways, not to mention you become more dependent on things like alcohol. Don't go this way at all.
Similarly, don't take this approach which is the approach of avoiding rejection. A lot of people's solution to dealing with the pain, anger, and fear rejection is simple: they just don't put themselves in situations where they might get rejected. And, again, this is bad because you're not dealing with rejection. You're hiding from it, and you're also not eliminating any of the pain, anger or fear. You're still living with that pain, anger, and fear. You're just hiding with that pain, anger and fear, and of course with this strategy, it's going to hold you back from achieving all sorts of things you want to achieve in your life.
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And again, your self-confidence plummets because you feel like you're hiding from rejection, as if you're not strong enough to face it. This is bad on so many different levels. Now, take a much better strategy, a step forward, which I call the "jump in and get used to it" approach to rejection. The idea with this approach is that you think of rejection as being like this big, frozen, scary, icy lake, but you go ahead and force yourself to jump into it, and it is a miserable, but you become numb to it, and you learn that you can deal with it, you can handle it.
In this way your confidence grows, because you've proven that you can deal with rejection. The benefits of this approach is that, yes, you are learning that you can deal with rejection. But the drawback is pretty big in that the pain, anger, and fear of rejection remains. Rejection continues to remain this miserable experience. Yes, now you know that you can deal with it, but every time in your head it's like: it's this miserable thing I don't want to deal with, but okay I'll go ahead and deal with it, and yes I know I'll get through it.
You know without a doubt that you can get through it, but it's miserable and painful for you every time, so this is still not good in the sense that you haven't removed that anger, fear, or pain. FYI, this approach is sometimes known as Rejection Therapy by some people. People who practice rejection therapy generally try to get rejected on purpose, and even turn rejection into a game. This brings us this strategy for rejection, which is the best strategy so far. This is to change the way you think about rejection, in order to change the way you feel about rejection.
Changing the way you think in order to change the way you feel is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, which his been clinically proven to help people eliminate things like stress, anger, pain and fear. And for this reason, this is the perfect, ideal approach to rejection, because you're using a clinically proven approach to help you eliminate the stress, pain, anger and fear rejection, so that you don't deal with those kinds of emotions anymore whenever you get rejected. To help you understand how cognitive behavioral therapy works, it work something like this: if before you think of rejection as this big, terrifying, scary, icy frozen lake, by changing the way you think about rejection, now it seems like rejection is more like this bathtub filled with lukewarm bath water.
And so as a result, rejection feels completely different to you, because it looks completely different to you.
It's not as scary to you anymore. It's not as intimidating to you. Yes, it would be terrifying for you to jump into a frozen, icy lake, but getting into a bathtub full of lukewarm bath water is no big deal. You might not prefer it, and you might not want to do that sometimes, but if it happens, you know that you can easily handle it. It's no big deal. So this is the power changing the way you think, in order to change the way you feel.
That said, you can go one step better to achieve the ultimate strategy for overcoming the pain, anger and fear of rejection, and and that is to combine strategy 3 with strategy 4. The idea is this: you change the way you think about rejection in order to feel differently about it. And then you put yourself in situations where you get rejected, and when you get rejected, you appreciate it's no big deal all for you. It's confirmed and proven for you that you feel differently when you get rejected, and so your self-confidence skyrockets.
It shoots through the roof, because every time you get rejected, now, you realize it barely hurt, or that it didn't even hurt at all, and that's amazing. So instead of rejection being this crushing experience, every encounter you have with rejection now confirms how strong, and confident, and powerful you are, and so rejection is no big deal to you anymore, and you grow stronger and stronger and stronger from rejection with every encounter you experience.
Again, this only works if you first change the way you think to change how you feel, and then you get rejected and notice this huge difference. So this is the strategy you've got to choose to take for the most effective results. So now that you know this, let's go ahead and review quickly what you've done. You've already established a clear goal: you want to become comfortable with rejection so that it's no big deal.
10 Smart Ways to Eliminate Your Fear of Rejection | The Modern Man
You're fully motivated to achieve this, and you know exactly what strategy you're getting take to do it. Specifically, changing the way you think about rejection to feel differently about it. So let's get started thinking about that and think about ways that you can start changing the way you think and feel about rejection today. There are different approaches you can take.
One approach is you can target thoughts for you that create a lot of pain, anger, and fear rejection, which is good to do, but another strategy to take is a shortcut, which is to take this course and to go through the thoughts in this course. What I've done is I have collected a lot of the biggest, common thoughts that make rejection so painful and and scary for people, and I walk you step-by-step through the process of changing the thoughts, and eliminating them so that you never think this way again anymore.
And as a result you immediately naturally eliminate pain, anger and fear of rejection by doing this. First, a very common way that people think about rejection that makes it so scary and painful for them is to think that rejection always hurts no matter what. With this kind of mentality, rejection is extremely extremely stressful and painful. If you remember at the beginning at this course, I taught you how one of that biggest problems anyone will face with rejection is feeling helpless to do anything about any pain, anger or fear of rejection, and just feeling like they can't help feeling miserable whenever they're rejected.
If you think about it, whenever you think that rejection hurts no matter what you think or do, by doing this you have way lower self-esteem, because you're not appreciating yourself or your capabilities. You have way less self confidence, and you have no motivation to feel differently because you think you can't do anything about it. So as a result rejection remains really painful for you whenever it occurs, and worst of all, you remain terrified of rejection occurring, because in your mind it's just this guaranteed pain and misery, and you can't do anything about it.
Big lesson: if you didn't think this way, you would already have much less pain, anger and fear of rejection. Another example: lots of people think of rejection as being this completely bad and miserable thing and that no good comes from it all. So if you think this way about rejection, and you think that it's just completely bad, no good comes from it, and you can't benefit from it in any way, then what you have done is you have turned rejection into this really scary, evil monster in your mind that is completely bad and destructive in every way.
And of course if you think of rejection like this it's really scary and intimidating, and it's really painful, and it's not anything that you want to deal with. In fact, it is something you want to run away from. So this kind of thought about rejection will naturally make you want to hide from rejection, and naturally will make you want to not put yourself in situations where you might get rejected. So of course you can have way less success in life with this thought, and of course you also have way less self-confidence, because you're thinking that you can't take rejection and benefit from it in any way.
Here, you're just thinking that you're incapable of doing something constructive with this, and it is another way the thought will hurt you. Big lesson: if you didn't think this way about rejection, you wouldn't have nearly as much pain, anger, or fear rejection if it occurred. So a big question is this: these thoughts definitely hurt you, and they hold you back, and they make you struggle with rejection. So how do you change these thoughts?
How do you make it so that you never think this way again, and instead you think in ways about rejection that make you more calm, relaxed, and confident so that rejection is no big deal to you at all? This is something that I'm going to walk you through step by step in future lessons.
But for right now I want you to appreciate the big picture, which is this: the moment you change the way you think about rejection, you change the way you feel about rejection, which means you immediately feel better about rejection. This immediately reduces the pain, anger, and fear of rejection by changing your thinking, which means you don't have to wait a long time at all to eliminate the pain, anger and fear. You can do it way faster than most people think. It's just a matter of knowing what to do and then doing it. So the big question right now is this: how quickly do you think you can overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection by changing your thinking?
Then finally, you get it right and it works. You know that women are attracted to confidence and the more you can stand there and believe in yourself, the more she will be attracted to you. Instead of fueling your fear of rejection with negative fantasies of what might go wrong, simply focus on getting to the point where you can actually pick women up. Thinking in a negative way and encouraging yourself to feel fear is not the correct way to make progress. Fueling the fear will simply keep you hidden away from achieving the simple goals that you have with women. Success with women is simple once you get rid of the negativity and just focus on moving forward and getting the results you want.
If you fear rejection, a lot it has to do with the mindset of needing the woman. This is my chance to get a girl. Approaching a woman to talk to her or attracting a woman that you already know is not your only chance to get a girl. No doubt you go through life and find women attractive all the time. For instance, maybe you want to have sex with her, experience love with her or have a relationship with her.
The irony is that she is going to like you and want you more if she gets the sense that you would be happy with or without her. If she feels as though you need her for your happiness or to feel validated as a man, then it will turn her off at a deep level. When talking to a woman, you have to be happy with or without the result of a phone number, kiss or sex.
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If you are making her feel attracted to you i. She will try to show her interest in you to make it known that she likes you and is interested. What happens to her as a result of feeling that way and trying to get you interested? She likes you even more and becomes committed to the idea of being with you. I want this guy. From that, you get to choose her rather than hoping to be chosen. When you genuinely use this approach, it eliminates the fear of rejection because it is you who is deciding whether or not you like her.
You know that you can talk to other women and feel just as attracted and interested in them. You also know that if you allow yourself to be the chooser, then women will want to impress you and get chosen by you, as long as you are making them feel a sufficient amount of attraction via your confidence and masculinity. On the other hand, if you are needy of women, you will be more-likely to fear being rejected and losing your opportunity with a specific woman. For example: You finally work up the courage to approach a woman that you find attractive. This is your big chance to get a girl.
You feel like everything is riding on this approach. She is just one girl out of millions who would be perfect for you. There are hundreds of millions of women that you would happily have sex with. You can think in a negative, needy way if you want to. Yet, how are you going to feel as a result of thinking like that? To get this done correctly, you cannot act or pretend. No matter how good you become with women e. Some women are weird, some women have a crappy vibe about them and a negative outlook on life.
Sometimes, a woman will like you, but will also be trying to impress her friends by playing hard to get and she will go too far with it to the point where you lose interest in her. Sometimes, a woman will get nervous and start doubting herself around you and want to get away from the interaction.
She will really like you, but will be doubting herself and just get away from the interaction and hope that you chase after her. You realize these sorts of things when you become a really confident guy and see that most people are fairly insecure, nervous and self-doubting when interacting with the opposite sex or in social situations in general. When you are really good with women, you will be able to push through any awkwardness and manoeuvre around any mistakes she is making e. Simply go talk to some other women, or put your confidence and skills with women to the test by seeing how far you can push the interaction.
Staying in an interaction and trying to deal with it is of the best ways to improve your confidence and skills with women and become better with women as a result. Doing so makes you a lot stronger as a man and it also often ends up turning into something like kissing, sex and a relationship because the awkwardness is sometimes created by the woman, so you just have to be strong enough to push through it.
The potential of being rejected becomes more overwhelming and powerful to them than actually going out there and getting the result that they want with women. Back then, most people only had one and sometimes two sexual partners in life before getting married. You can believe in whatever you want. There are millions of women who would blow your mind with the amount of love that they give you. There are millions, possibly billions of women that you are sexually attracted to. There are millions of women that you could have an amazing relationship with.
With that in mind, let me ask you: If you had a relationship with one of these millions of women and she really loved you and you really loved her and you had a great connection and relationship, would you say that she is your one and only soulmate?
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Possibly, if you wanted to put that sort of label on it. However, how about instead of having a relationship with number , out of the millions of women that you could choose from, you had a relationship with woman number , The relationship with her was amazing and the love was deep, real and lasted for life. Would she be your one and only soulmate?
If you wanted to put that sort of label on it, you could. You can look at women and at love as being scarce and hard to find, or you can see the abundance of women and love around you. There are billions of us humans here on the planet and everything is going to be okay if you decide to approach one of the millions of women that you find attractive.
Big frikken deal. If you are approaching your interactions with women correctly, then most women that you talk to will at least feel attracted to you as a result of your confidence, masculinity and the sexual vibe that you create. No human is romantically compatible with every human on the planet and that is okay. Talking to a woman and checking to see if you and her are a compatible match is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Know that everything will be okay. If you talk to a particular woman, it might seem very important to you in that moment.
My whole life is about her. She is my soulmate. She is the one. You will be fearing rejection and will be worrying about messing up your one opportunity with a girl. When she senses your neediness for her, she will much more likely to reject you. So, know that everything will be okay whether you get one particular girl or not. Those women are everywhere and when you can learn how to be confident around women, you will find that types of women who were previously cold and bitchy towards you, suddenly open up and be friendly and easy-going with you.
You will then realize how much choice with women you really have. One way to get past the overwhelming, immobilizing feelings of nervousness and fear is to feel excited about it. For example, think about guys who are thrill seekers e. They are risk takers who are afraid, but excited about it at the same time. They are excited about facing that feeling of fear and then getting the rush from actually doing following through and doing what they want to do. The same applies to approaching and escalating to kissing and sex with women. You feel so much more alive as a man.
Compare that to hiding away and being afraid of getting rejected. What sort of life is that to live? If you think like that around women, what does that say about you as a man? You do not have to be afraid. Hiding from women is not going to get you results with women. Holding back your interest in women and being afraid to show your sexual interest is not going to get you results with women. This is awesome. That is a much more forward moving, exciting, alpha male approach to life.
Embrace it. I am growing as a man. Things are happening for me. Feel excited and know that you will make huge progress when you push yourself to get past it. The feelings you are experiencing with her now are more than worth it. Going after what you want is nothing to be afraid of.
Overcome Rejection: The SMART Way
When you can accept that in advance, you will push forward until you find a some of the millions of women who are incredibly compatible with you. It will be amazing for both of you. Free video reveals how ordinary guys get laid or get a girlfriend by using a simple approach that works instantly on all kinds of women Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert.
He knows the secret to attracting and picking up women for sex and relationships, which has allowed him to enjoy his choice of women for many years. Watch this free training and he will share the secret with you. Hello Dan, thank you for inspiring me with ideas, I will put your skills to daily practical use…. Thanks a lot for writing this article man. It is a real eye opener. Part 3 about women testing and 7 about the awkwardness they sometimes create are just what I needed to learn. I usually have fantastic interactions with women but sometimes things just seem to fizzle all of a sudden.
Now, I know. Thanks mate. Great to hear that you had the realization. Knowledge about those sorts of things makes all the difference. Stay in the interaction, be confident and see it through until the end. I started a new job where a lot of cute girls work and after two weeks I was dragged into a conversation on how co workers date each other.
Upon the conversation the girl who my co worker was talking about and the girl who I noticed from the beginning walked around the corner and my body language changed I started scratching my head……….. BIG Mistake!