Guide Everything You Wanted to Know: about the Holy Order of Mans but Were Afraid to Ask

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He must be all-knowing, he's a doctor! Reuben bestows his blessing upon oral sex between a man and a woman but cautions them that they may have "emotional problems" if they prefer it to intercourse. Yes, he actually uses the phrase "ideal sex act. Modern readers will also note that the book is totally innocent of the concepts of fisting, lesbian sadomasochism, and heterosexual anal sex. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex does offer some entertainment value: the "interviews" from medical clients who are obviously the author's inventions provide most of the laughs.

A prostitute visited in the daytime by a stingy john apparently dealt with him by saying, "What do you think this, the kiddie matinee? You can come over here for half price but you only get half a screw! Just put "Reproduction" from Grease 2 on repeat, and you'll be all set for an evening of stern lectures against almost every conceivable sex act. Otherwise, stay very, very far away from this thinly disguised propaganda. ETA: I read the edition, and--if you can possibly imagine this--it is even worse than the original. The updated edition must have been written for the same people who were teenagers and young adults when the original was published, because there is no way that these attitudes would pass without scorn from '90s youths.

One has to imagine the author getting a letter from his publisher: Dear Mr. Reuben, We reaped great rewards from your runaway bestseller once upon a time, and we would like to see you repeat the formula. Unfortunately, thirty years have passed since we last published your authoritative tome, and our audience of vanilla heterosexual Baby Boomers is largely no longer scared of homosexuality. Would you please find another group or two to defame at length? We suggest painting sadomasochists and transsexuals as this generation's bogeymen. Also, we'd appreciate it if you barely toned down your anti-gay attitude.

You can still portray gay people as crusaders for anonymous public hookups as long you don't prescribe psychological "cures" for the orientation itself. What's more, you can leave the prostitution chapter virtually untouched, because our readers' contempt for hookers is boundless. We look forward to seeing your new efforts.

Sincerely, Bantam Why, oh, why did I decide to buy this book at the used bookstore one day and not Sex Lives of the U. View 1 comment. I rated this book for the humor value. I read the thing cover to cover the day I got it. Reuben has some awesomely misinformed sections in it. He takes a stance on homosexuality as being sexually depraved and his descriptions of how gay men act had me cracking up.

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His suggestion for the best spermicidal douche was unbearably funny. Some of what he says rings true, but mostly it is an amusing glance into society's view on the topic in the late sixties. Do not read it to educate yourself about all I rated this book for the humor value. Do not read it to educate yourself about all things related to sex. No wonder Woody Allen made a spoof about it. I found this in my parent's bedroom when I was 14 years old.

I read it in secret, and replaced it where I had found it. Reading it at that age was probably NOT the most healthy thing that could have happened. Teenage hormones and urges were just starting to hit and the knowle I found this in my parent's bedroom when I was 14 years old. Teenage hormones and urges were just starting to hit and the knowledge the book gave me did not help control them.

However in the pre-sex education era The worst "factual" book ever. Nothing in it is ever cited as an actual study but ridiculous scenarios are given and they make for some good entertainment. Written in the 60's, it's dated and full of racist and sexist stereotypes It preaches about the usage of Coca Cola as the best form of birth control and how STD's are spread to the mayor's daughter from men of color. This flea market find sparked a fascination with collecting books that contain The worst "factual" book ever. This flea market find sparked a fascination with collecting books that contain sociological information about different eras through dated materials about then current etiquette.

Nov 21, Colleen rated it really liked it Recommends it for: Everybody! I really enjoyed this down-to-earth, medically and emotionally accurate exploration of sex, the greatest activity in the history of the world. The only chapter I didn't appreciate was the one on male homosexuality. It was outdated and just silly at points. For instance, it read that no one really knows why the gays do what they do.

It implied that they simply choose that lifestyle. No, it's not genetic.

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No, it's not emotional. What poppycock. Otherwise, this was an excellent read. I really liked I really enjoyed this down-to-earth, medically and emotionally accurate exploration of sex, the greatest activity in the history of the world. I really liked the chapter on prostitutes, especially the Lezzies. September older sex, menopause, masturbation, basic anatomy, and libido were all covered in depth in a question-answer format. I recommend this book to anyone who has questions about sex. Who doesn't? Inevitably, they are covered in this volume. Answering your own questions will certainly improve your performance and enjoyment of life.

It is a wonderful way to gain resources on creative positions. May 19, Gregory rated it liked it Shelves: non-fiction. You don't want to know how I acquired this book. That being said, I do have some things to say about it. It is very informative when it comes to matters of anatomy and seems to be inclined, like so much of the work done by psychologists in the sixties, to want to free heterosexual couples from the constraints of imposed chastity and prudishness.

However, if you are gay, lesbian, transexual, bi or even remotely questioning, or even if you have proclivities that may be considered outside the norm, You don't want to know how I acquired this book. However, if you are gay, lesbian, transexual, bi or even remotely questioning, or even if you have proclivities that may be considered outside the norm, this book will be far less helpful.

Lesbians are not admitted to even in passing, and gay men are diagnosed with perversity, with the antiquated notion that "they're looking for the perfect penis, but they will never find the perfect penis because the perfect penis is actually their own penis which means that they need a vagina". In other words, this book is dated. Mine it for what it's worth as far as anatomical information, but take its petty judgments with a teaspoon of salt.

Sep 28, Janice added it. I am happy to say that of the three or four books I've ever thrown out in my life because of hideous content and not because of bad koolaid stains or a puppy chewing it beyond legibility , two have been copies of this book. And one was not mine. I realize now that the other person may have had it as an example of what stupid things people can say when they pretend they know a topic they know little about, but at the time, I did not think it through.

And, yes, I felt guilty throwing away someone I am happy to say that of the three or four books I've ever thrown out in my life because of hideous content and not because of bad koolaid stains or a puppy chewing it beyond legibility , two have been copies of this book. And, yes, I felt guilty throwing away someone else's property. But the idea that some poor souls might read his nauseating crap about lesbians and believe it they just need a man, which is clear when they use two-sided dildos, as an example was worse than the property-rights guilt. In short, I do not like this book.

When this book first came out it was a must read for our gang working at the mall cafe. As teenagers it was a wonder, no one had told us this stuff before, and little was available in this contemporary format - just buying a book at a bookstore. I was reading it on break by the mall fountain, hunkered down so the cover wouldn't be embarrassing.

An older girl stopped 20ish she asked me what are you reading? When I showed her the book she got a big laugh out it! Feb 05, Amy rated it did not like it. I got this book at Op House for 20 cents. It's for my vintage sex-ed collection! I usually enjoy reading out-of-date, inaccurate books about sex. But this one was too homophobic and misogynistic to be truly entertaining. I would say it's an interesting cultural relic, but sadly I think there are a lot of people walking around who believe the horrible things in this book, and we are all suffering for it.

May 16, Smith Nickerson rated it did not like it. Read this right when it initially was published. Fortunately, I was able to get copies of Kinsey and Masters and Johnson long before. David Reuben may have bought some knowledge to a society that had a lot of hang ups about sex and sexuality but he was not to kind to the Gay community. They are pretty much referred to as freaks. Jan 15, Dave rated it liked it. Got this book from my father when I was 13, to substitute "the talk. Barely enough to even be a relic of its time; in the height of the sexual revolution, this book doesn't do much justice to human sexuality.

Jun 29, Joanne G. I don't remember anything inside this book, but I do have a story about it that still makes me smile decades after the fact. My best friend's family was moving, and her father found this book under her bed. She was so embarrassed, but all he did was ask if she had learned anything! This was the go-to book of my generation. We didn't have Internet! Jun 25, Red Phoenix rated it it was ok. Yep,found this book in my brother's room. Learned lots of things that didn't makes sense until I was older. Some images still haunt me Not a great informational book because of all the misinformation.

Still, it shaped a lot of young lives back when it came out. Jun 14, Eric Tracy rated it really liked it. Kind of dry, but informative, and I was just hungry enough for accurate info on the subject at the time that I read it nearly all at once. Jan 15, Suzlizjohnson rated it it was ok. My mother literally blew her top when she found out I was reading this book at the age of just turned 18! She was apparently typical mother who wouldn't dream of uttering the word sex, never mind talking about it!! I found it to be very informative and answered most all my questions except one I can't remember what that question was..

May 04, Emily rated it it was ok Shelves: nonfiction. No one should take this book seriously anymore because it is so outdated. And as he suddenly turned it, the rays leaped forth again with renewed brilliancy, and seemed to pierce his very heart. Decisive actions are often taken in a moment and without any conscious deliverance from the rational parts of man.

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So it was now with Mr. He glanced hurriedly round; beheld, like Mr.

Raeburn before him, nothing but the sunlit flower-garden, the tall tree-tops, and the house with blinded windows; and in a trice he had shut the case, thrust it into his pocket, and was hastening to his study with the speed of guilt. Early in the afternoon the police arrived with Harry Hartley. The nurseryman, who was beside himself with terror, readily discovered his hoard; and the jewels were identified and inventoried in the presence of the Secretary. As for Mr. Rolles, he showed himself in a most obliging temper, communicated what he knew with freedom, and professed regret that he could do no more to help the officers in their duty.

Such a thing has a physiognomy not to be disguised, and I should fancy a man might as easily negotiate St. Paul's Cathedral. Whereupon the functionary admitted that they knew many strange things in his profession, and immediately after took his leave. Rolles regained his apartment. It seemed smaller and barer than usual; the materials for his great work had never presented so little interest; and he looked upon his library with the eye of scorn.

He took down, volume by volume, several Fathers of the Church, and glanced them through; but they contained nothing to his purpose.

Here am I, with learning enough to be a Bishop, and I positively do not know how to dispose of a stolen diamond. I glean a hint from a common policeman, and, with all my folios, I cannot so much as put it into execution. This inspires me with very low ideas of University training. Herewith he kicked over his book-shelf and, putting on his hat, hastened from the house to the club of which he was a member. In such a place of mundane resort he hoped to find some man of good counsel and a shrewd experience in life.

In the reading-room he saw many of the country clergy and an Archdeacon; there were three journalists and a writer upon the Higher Metaphysic, playing pool; and at dinner only the raff of ordinary club frequenters showed their commonplace and obliterated countenances.

None of these, thought Mr. Rolles, would know more on dangerous topics than he knew himself; none of them were fit to give him guidance in his present strait. At length in the smoking-room, up many weary stairs, he hit upon a gentleman of somewhat portly build and dressed with conspicuous plainness. The more the young clergyman scrutinised his features, the more he was convinced that he had fallen on one capable of giving pertinent advice. By life," he added, "I do not mean Thackeray's novels; but the crimes and secret possibilities of our society, and the principles of wise conduct among exceptional events.

I am a patient reader; can the thing be learnt in books? Upon the less apparent provinces of life I fear you will find nothing truthful. Yet stay," he added, "have you read Gaboriau? On his way home Mr. Rolles purchased a work on precious stones and several of Gaboriau's novels. These last he eagerly skimmed until an advanced hour in the morning; but although they introduced him to many new ideas, he could nowhere discover what to do with a stolen diamond. For the character and attainments of Lecoq, however, he was unable to contain his admiration.

There was nothing that he could not carry to a termination with his own hand, and against the largest odds. Must I not learn to cut diamonds for myself? It seemed to him as if he had sailed at once out of his perplexities; he remembered that he knew a jeweller, one B. Macculloch, in Edinburgh, who would be glad to put him in the way of the necessary training; a few months, perhaps a few years, of sordid toil, and he would be sufficiently expert to divide and sufficiently cunning to dispose with advantage of the Rajah's Diamond.

That done, he might return to pursue his researches at leisure, a wealthy and luxurious student, envied and respected by all. Golden visions attended him through his slumber, and he awoke refreshed and light-hearted with the morning sun. Raeburn's house was on that day to be closed by the police, and this afforded a pretext for his departure. He cheerfully prepared his baggage, transported it to King's Cross, where he left it in the cloak-room, and returned to the club to while away the afternoon and dine. Rolles; "and General Vandeleur I have even met in society. You make me wonder what we mean by fame, or even by infamy; for Jack Vandeleur has prodigious claims to both.

Run downstairs," he continued, "take a table near them, and keep your ears open. You will hear some strange talk, or I am much misled. Know them, indeed! Why, you could pick either of them out of a Derby day! Rolles eagerly hurried to the dining-room. It was as his friend had asserted; it was impossible to mistake the pair in question. Old John Vandeleur was of a remarkable force of body, and obviously broken to the most difficult exercises. He had neither the carriage of a swordsman, nor of a sailor, nor yet of one much inured to the saddle; but something made up of all these, and the result and expression of many different habits and dexterities.

His features were bold and aquiline; his expression arrogant and predatory; his whole appearance that of a swift, violent, unscrupulous man of action; and his copious white hair and the deep sabre-cut that traversed his nose and temple added a note of savagery to a head already remarkable and menacing in itself. In his companion, the Prince of Bohemia, Mr. Rolles was astonished to recognise the gentleman who had recommended him the study of Gaboriau. The other diners had modestly retired into the angles of the room, and left the distinguished pair in a certain isolation, but the young clergyman was unrestrained by any sentiment of awe, and, marching boldly up, took his place at the nearest table.

The conversation was, indeed, new to the student's ears. The ex- Dictator of Paraguay stated many extraordinary experiences in different quarters of the world; and the Prince supplied a commentary which, to a man of thought, was even more interesting than the events themselves. Two forms of experience were thus brought together and laid before the young clergyman; and he did not know which to admire the most - the desperate actor or the skilled expert in life; the man who spoke boldly of his own deeds and perils, or the man who seemed, like a god, to know all things and to have suffered nothing.

The manner of each aptly fitted with his part in the discourse. The Dictator indulged in brutalities alike of speech and gesture; his hand opened and shut and fell roughly on the table; and his voice was loud and heavy. The Prince, on the other hand, seemed the very type of urbane docility and quiet; the least movement, the least inflection, had with him a weightier significance than all the shouts and pantomime of his companion; and if ever, as must frequently have been the case, he described some experience personal to himself, it was so aptly dissimulated as to pass unnoticed with the rest.

To hand them about among the common sort of men is to set a price on Virtue's head; and if the Rajah of Kashgar - a Prince, I understand, of great enlightenment - desired vengeance upon the men of Europe, he could hardly have gone more efficaciously about his purpose than by sending us this apple of discord. There is no honesty too robust for such a trial. I myself, who have many duties and many privileges of my own - I myself, Mr. Vandeleur, could scarce handle the intoxicating crystal and be safe.

As for you, who are a diamond hunter by taste and profession, I do not believe there is a crime in the calendar you would not perpetrate - I do not believe you have a friend in the world whom you would not eagerly betray - I do not know if you have a family, but if you have I declare you would sacrifice your children - and all this for what? Not to be richer, nor to have more comforts or more respect, but simply to call this diamond yours for a year or two until you die, and now and again to open a safe and look at it as one looks at a picture.

It has beauty and worth; it alone can properly reward the ardours of the chase. At this moment, as your Highness may fancy, I am upon the trail; I have a sure knack, a wide experience; I know every stone of price in my brother's collection as a shepherd knows his sheep; and I wish I may die if I do not recover them every one! Thomas or John - Peter or Paul - we are all apostles. Rolles glanced at the clock, and saw that he also must be moving; and the coincidence struck him sharply and unpleasantly, for he desired to see no more of the diamond hunter.

Much study having somewhat shaken the young man's nerves, he was in the habit of travelling in the most luxurious manner; and for the present journey he had taken a sofa in the sleeping carriage. It was close upon the hour, and the tickets were being examined, when Mr. Rolles beheld this other fellow-passenger ushered by several porters into his place; certainly, there was not another man in the world whom he would not have preferred - for it was old John Vandeleur, the ex-Dictator.

The sleeping carriages on the Great Northern line were divided into three compartments - one at each end for travellers, and one in the centre fitted with the conveniences of a lavatory. A door running in grooves separated each of the others from the lavatory; but as there were neither bolts nor locks, the whole suite was practically common ground.

When Mr. Rolles had studied his position, he perceived himself without defence. If the Dictator chose to pay him a visit in the course of the night, he could do no less than receive it; he had no means of fortification, and lay open to attack as if he had been lying in the fields.

This situation caused him some agony of mind. He recalled with alarm the boastful statements of his fellow- traveller across the dining-table, and the professions of immorality which he had heard him offering to the disgusted Prince. Might it not be the same with diamonds? From such a man he recognised that he had everything to fear, and longed eagerly for the arrival of the day. In the meantime he neglected no precaution, concealed his diamond in the most internal pocket of a system of great-coats, and devoutly recommended himself to the care of Providence.

The train pursued its usual even and rapid course; and nearly half the journey had been accomplished before slumber began to triumph over uneasiness in the breast of Mr. For some time he resisted its influence; but it grew upon him more and more, and a little before York he was fain to stretch himself upon one of the couches and suffer his eyes to close; and almost at the same instant consciousness deserted the young clergyman.

His last thought was of his terrifying neighbour. When he awoke it was still pitch dark, except for the flicker of the veiled lamp; and the continual roaring and oscillation testified to the unrelaxed velocity of the train. He sat upright in a panic, for he had been tormented by the most uneasy dreams; it was some seconds before he recovered his self-command; and even after he had resumed a recumbent attitude sleep continued to flee him, and he lay awake with his brain in a state of violent agitation, and his eyes fixed upon the lavatory door.

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He pulled his clerical felt hat over his brow still farther to shield him from the light; and he adopted the usual expedients, such as counting a thousand or banishing thought, by which experienced invalids are accustomed to woo the approach of sleep. In the case of Mr. It burned, it was too large, it bruised his ribs; and there were infinitesimal fractions of a second in which he had half a mind to throw it from the window. The sliding-door into the lavatory stirred a little, and then a little more, and was finally drawn back for the space of about twenty inches.

The lamp in the lavatory was unshaded, and in the lighted aperture thus disclosed, Mr. Rolles could see the head of Mr. Vandeleur in an attitude of deep attention.

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He was conscious that the gaze of the Dictator rested intently on his own face; and the instinct of self-preservation moved him to hold his breath, to refrain from the least movement, and keeping his eyes lowered, to watch his visitor from underneath the lashes.

After about a moment, the head was withdrawn and the door of the lavatory replaced. The Dictator had not come to attack, but to observe; his action was not that of a man threatening another, but that of a man who was himself threatened; if Mr. Rolles was afraid of him, it appeared that he, in his turn, was not quite easy on the score of Mr.