A few days before my 50th birthday I had two more embryos transferred. I threw a huge party and soon afterwards received the results.
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At first I was delighted, then my thoughts turned to my age. Would my year-old body be able to support two babies? At four and a half months I went for a check-up. I see now how judgmental I once was. From then on, my pregnancy felt fraught. There were a lot of stunned faces among the applause.
Many people had written it off as not even physically possible. Andres was born two months early, in August He looked like a peanut; the doctors whisked him off to put him in an incubator. The NHS neonatal care was phenomenal for all three of us. Now Andres is three years old. I want to see Andres turn One of my colleagues is my age and is becoming a grandfather for the second time. Friends of friends have said they want to talk to me. A lot of women my age feel invisible and sidelined, but I had a baby at 50 and women can do anything they want at this age: start a business, run a marathon.
Coming to motherhood late has made me sense my own mortality more strongly, but also made me feel more alive than ever. To contact Sarah, e-mail becomingamotherat50 gmail. Her daughter Freida and son Matthew were born on Christmas Eve , nine weeks premature.
#SELFCARESUNDAYS: why being the ‘agony aunt’ of your group can impact your well-being
Carole retired two years ago to claim her pension and look after her two toddlers. Malone, who gave birth to her first daughter at 17, had a gastric band fitted to have IVF treatment. She became pregnant with her second daughter, Flame, using a donor egg and the sperm of her husband, 19 years her junior.
Flame was born in by emergency caesarean after Malone developed pre-eclampsia, a condition more common in older mothers. Malone has said she wants another child with the other fertilised embryos. Facebook Twitter Pinterest.
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Topics Fertility problems The Observer. Women Health Parents and parenting Family features. Reuse this content. Childbirth is all about the woman in labor, obviously, and those of us in attendance are just bit players in the main event. I knew they wanted me there primarily as an extra set of eyes and ears, a sort of no-cost doula. My daughter had seen me in action when my mother was hospitalized, and she knew I could be a fierce patient advocate if she needed one. But what was my role when things were going fine? I found myself wrestling with my own uncertainty, trying hard to remain unobtrusive, straining for the right balance between being invisible and turning into a mother lion.
At on a cloudy morning in June, the baby finally arrived. What was wrong with me? And I felt hurt, too, as the baby was cleaned up and passed from mother to father to mother again for skin-to-skin bonding time. What I was privileged enough to witness was something wonderful: the birth of a family, as two young people I adored took on the mantle of parenthood together, with a perfect mixture of gravity and glee.
I was relieved that it was over and that the baby was healthy. Yet I felt unfinished.
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In the late afternoon I returned to the hospital with my husband, and fell in love at last. As my 60s approached, I kept being gobsmacked by grandbaby lust. I wanted to hold a baby — not just any baby, but one with whom I could feel the primal connection I had once felt holding my own two girls. I wanted the sight, smell and heft of a baby in my arms; I wanted a little one to come to know me, trust me and seek me out for comfort; I wanted a child to give shape and purpose to my days.
But why do we feel this way? Are we longing to get back to our own youth, when not only were our babies bundles of infinite possibilities, but we ourselves were, too? Pay for or design a layout and graphics for the Agony Aunt website that leave room for your photograph and plenty of text. Be sure to have a clear navigation menu that will bring visitors to the other pages of your website. Encourage people to write to you with their problems about relationships, family, life, etiquette, or any other subject by putting a contact link right at the top of the home page of your website.
ANGOLA: The Agony of Becoming Free
Offer your help in solving their problems for free. When you build up a following, you might be able to charge a small fee for some services, but it probably would not work in the beginning. List the type of problems you offer assistance with on the front page as well.
Include pages on your Agony Aunt website that offer free advice about certain problems. It is a good idea to have a separate page for each type of problem: dating, marriage, finance, career, etiquette, etc. When you help specific people with their problems through email, ask permission to reprint the question and answer on your website.