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Some people have kids, some are married, some are creeping on 30 and have neither one. The beauty of our 20 is that it is the time to make mistakes, figure ourselves out and pave the road for the future of our choice.

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Here are the twenty tips, facts, and thoughts every twenty something year old will need to hear or has already heard. Thus justifying "make your dreams reach the stars. It is addressed differently across cultures, lifestyles, and religions, and it can be difficult to find the right words to say when in the company of someone who is dying. I have spent a lot of time working with hospice patients, and I bore witness to the varying degrees of memory loss and cognitive decline that accompany aging and disease.

The patients I worked with had diverse stories and interests, and although we might have had some trouble understanding each other, we found ways to communicate that transcended any typical conversation. They spoke in riddles, but their emotions were clearly communicated through their facial expressions and general demeanor, which told a story all on their own. We would connect through smiles and short phrases, yes or no questions, but more often than not, their minds were in another place.

Some patients would repeat the details of the same event, over and over, with varying levels of detail each time. Others would revert to a child-like state, wondering about their parents, about school, and about family and friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

I often wondered why their minds chose to wander to a certain event or time period and leave them stranded there before the end of their life.

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Was an emotionally salient event reinforcing itself in their memories? Was their subconscious trying to reconnect with people from their past? All I could do was agree and follow their lead because the last thing I wanted to do was break their pleasant memory. I felt honored to be able to spend time with them, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding on their final moments, moments that might be better spent with family and loved ones.

I didn't know them in their life, so I wondered how they benefited from my presence in their death. However, after learning that several of the patients I visited didn't have anyone to come to see them, I began to cherish every moment spent, whether it was in laughter or in tears. Several of the patients never remembered me.

Understanding somethings is different from knowing a something | Psychology Today

Each week, I was a new person, and each week they had a different variation of the same story that they needed to tell me. In a way, it might have made it easier to start fresh every week rather than to grow attached to a person they would soon leave. They were reliving a memory or experiencing life again as if it were the first time, but as the end draws nearer, a drastic shift in mood and demeanor is evident. A patient who was once friendly and jolly can quickly become quiet, reflective, and despondent.

I've seen patients break down and cry, not because of their current situation, but because they were mourning old ones. These times taught me a lot about how to be just what that person needs towards the end of their life. The somber tone and tired eyes let me know that what they had to say was important and worth hearing. What mattered most is that someone who cared was there to hear it.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you. So, it is looking like I am about to leave my teenage years behind. I think that I want to reflect back on this time in my life and think about what I want to keep with me in my twenties and maybe some things I can let go.

My teenage years have been full of love from my family and friends; hard work to make good grades in school and creating art. I developed several great friendships that I have held on to across the miles even though I went to college 14 hours away from our previous home. I am so thankful for the friendships I have made in college as well. It seems like friends you make in your childhood and younger years can really stand the test of time. Maybe it is because when you became friends you were truly who you were. Everyone was genuine and didn't put up walls to protect themselves. You got to know someone on a deeper more personal level more quickly than if you had met later in life.

I also think we laughed even more as children and that always creates good memories to look back on. So I think in my twenties I will try to hang on to the "childish" way of making friends. I will try to show my true self and will accept them for who they are, and we will laugh I think a good thing to let go of is always trying to make dead-end relationships work.

When we were children on the playground and we tried to play a game together or jump rope and it just wasn't working, we would run off and find someone else. It was easy. It was just natural. Now sometimes I find myself trying to stay in a relationship by being overly nice, giving gifts, trying to find what pushes the persons "good" buttons. I might spend so much time trying to figure this person out that I leave out more solid relationships that are worth my time. The theory of emerging adulthood doesn't provide information about individuals.

The theory doesn't describe any something you know or will ever know.

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Rather, the theory provides information about a group of people who share the same age, people associated by the lowest common factors connecting them. Knowing what an emerging adult shares in common with other emerging adults tells you only a little bit about your son or daughter, or yourself if you are a something. Each emerging adult is a sum of a great many parts, organized in a just-so way.

Not only is each something unique in what he or she brings to the 20s, but emerging adulthood is a life stage that treats each something differently. Just as each child experiences his family differently from his siblings, so to do emerging adults experience a stage of freedom. Does this sound disappointing? Were readers wanting more answers?

Some guidance? If so, know this-we have to wait. We need to take our time. As with anything, caveat emptor. Science takes a long time. We've only just begun. We have to generate new theories, theories will compete, and scientific studies will refine what we know. Right now we don't know much about how life turns out when somethings explore before they commit.

Some expect that we'll see fewer midlife crises; we'll see fewer divorces, and fewer convertibles and PT Cruisers. Others predict that penalties of delayed self-sufficiency will result in some real bad stuff for society, like whole generations of narcissists who refuse to raise needy little children.

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Before we commit to a new view of adulthood, this is our time to explore. We have a lot to think about.


  • 20 Something Lyrics.
  • @Advicefroma20something on Instagram?
  • Widerstand im Dritten Reich am Beispiel Stauffenberg (German Edition).
  • The Sacrifice?
  • What Is It About Somethings? - The New York Times.

We can't just rush into a definition we'll have for the rest of our lives. We can't just choose one definition of "adult" that we are going to live with, every day, and share a bathroom with until we die. That's like Ah, the radical ideas of the new generation. As a something, I see this latest evolution as another blip in the generation timeline, similar to disco in the 70s, hippies in the 60s and the popularity of weed and coke that made it all possible. The internet is our drug. We can see a world vaster than our parents could and we can write out and discuss possibilities we never would have imagined in the 80s, simply because the information is there and the world is willing to talk.

Perhaps we take longer to become FDA fully-certified 9-to-5 adults simply because we have a larger world to consider. Or maybe we're a completely different species from our parents and will rule the world in a new era where Hulu is God and anything slower than 20G Network speeds is reserved for third-world countries and prisons.

Parents are confused as to whether they should encourage something children to work toward what they know to be markers of adulthood like this: 'stay in school, get a job, find the right person, settle down and have a family There may not be a "settle down" for many somethings today, who may decide to explore the world in person after traveling it through cyberspace, and may never own a home, have children or hold Sunday afternoon barbecues.

But maybe that's just me. To you, does this new way of being 18 to 25 represent not a life stage but a life philosophy? A way of being that it relatively permanent not transitory? The source of my assumption These responsibilities have a stabilizing effect on personality because there is less time for identity explorations. The first question is, are there some objective reasons for why getting married at age X or having kids at age Y are optimal?

twentysomething

Or is this simply "path-dependence", expectations arrived at arbitrarily but stabilized and internalized as the "right way" to do things? And then the follow-up question; if these expectations are indeed arbitrary, are there any valid reasons to meet them? Take marriage, for instance. If marriage does not lead to any increase in life satisfaction, why should we expect it to be a high priority in one's life?

It usually starts at very very young ages. But that does not make it a rational answer. Quite the opposite. Or the more extreme instance, children. Parents report "statistically significantly lower levels of happiness Alesina et al. One may frame this as "narcissists who refuse to raise needy little children. To those with divorced parents who whine about how rotten the other parent is, bitter parents in unhappy marriages, parents with debt up to their eyeballs, parents who complain about how awful their jobs are, parents who whine about how spoiled and disrespectful and unappreciative their children are - it follows that the children of these parents who are plentiful would be hesitant to commit to a marriage because they are perfectly aware of how uncertain, if not damning, the prospects really are.

They're hesitant to commit to a job because they don't want to loathe waking up every morning. They're hesitant to have children because they ever-so-selfishly cherish petty little things like "mental well-being" and "life satisfaction. Trying to do everything at once hasn't worked out so well, and screwing up any one of these things could easily cascade into total failure.

I'm sure the phenomenon varies across our subcultures. I do definitely think that we are emerging out of this mind set: our parents don't seem to happy with their life choices, the jobs these days are unrewarding and awful we've already sat at a computer most of our lives and need it in our private lives Not to mention an economy that has turned millions of the "rationally" minded of the generations before us into wrecks. Life is unpredictable and unstable. That is message we are working with. And we do look into the internet and see a world of opportunity. A world of things to do and see and experience Not to mention its hard to conform and be fake--necessary elements of almost any job.

So, I'd like to equate "growing-up" with "giving-in" to "reality" whatever the hegemon dictates.

Get married, have kids which you won't be able to afford to put through proper schooling , get a job which will mostly have you working in front of a computer slowly killing your humanity, and it is likely unstable and you will be overworked , buy a house which you will mortgage to send your kids to a private grade school, high school and maybe some college to give them any chance in life , spend too much on a fancy car, clothes etc because really, our economy runs off of creating false needs and making you feel bad enough about yourself until you throw money at your public image I hardly want to pay the entry fee that feels like my life, my happiness, my sense of a personal existence.

Our diversions are part our disdain for our options, and part our inability to even process and deal with the terror that is our current reality.


  • PONDERINGS ON SHATTERED INNOCENCE: POEMS OF HEARTBREAK, FAITH AND HOPE.
  • Home – Advice from a Twenty Something;
  • Killing Time.

I've barely started living yet according to the "adult" world, and already it's feeling hopeless. Get me out of here. So, recently I've been asking myself a lot of questions that seem like they are condemning decisions. As a recent college graduate, I'm facing decisions like, "Where do I want to live? I got a great job right out of college and I am working in the field I want, making a good amount of money. But here is the catch. I joined a work abroad program. I'm currently teaching English in Japan. I feel like this decision was one of the best things I could have possibly done.

I look around at my friends who are either in grad school because they don't know what they want to do with their lives yet, or are trying to work dead-end part time jobs until they can find a job in what they have a degree in. My situation has afforded me a unique perspective. Each year my company asks if I would like to stay for another contract year, and each year I get around 4 months to mull over the idea.

With such a decision things like job satisfaction, financial security, career aspirations, and even general life happiness are all important factors that I must consider. I've had an emotional roller coaster trying to decide if a job with average satisfaction is worth the financial security it provides.

If my family and friends are more important to me than that financial security. If I feel like I'm 'sticking it out' or if I'm 'living it up. I've also been analysing what exactly constitutes life happiness. From what myself and others on this program have gathered, this happiness if quite different for everyone. Some people discover they can deal with a certain degree of job dissatisfaction if they receive a large personal satisfaction in their social lives.

I think what the 20 somethings of my generation are trying to do is discover their balance before they commit themselves to an unbalanced and thus unhappy life. I have tried to discuss these decisions and thoughts with my own mother, but our situations are completely different. She didn't go to college right out of high school, she took a job that happen to present itself to her until she was finally aware of what she "really" wanted to do. I think many of us went to college right after high school because it was a given. We felt it is required to get anywhere in life, and whether you worked during that time or not, afterwards you felt lost.

The next job you take may very well make decisions that seem to have extremely extensive consequences. Choosing a job, and a place to live feel like chains that are strapping you down to a place and a job for the rest of your life. However, we have to keep in mind. It isn't forever! Our parents managed to change their lives when they figured out their "true path" we can too. If you move and find out it isn't the place for you, you can move. Things aren't set in stone. But the mindset of the 20 something is that we've followed the course.

Going back to school later seems ridiculous!