The issue or your memory of the situation becomes less powerful in your mind. You become less emotionally attached to it. You can refuse to let go of what happened. And instead let it interfere with your relationship and replay what happened over and over in your mind.
How to let go
Or you can choose to forgive. Instead, if you like, find the motivation to forgive for you own sake. Do it for your own well-being , happiness and for the time you have left in your life.
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Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. You may for example choose to forgive but also to spend less time or no time in the future with someone who has hurt you. And being distracted or worried by things that you cannot control in your life in any way right now is a waste of energy. My experience has been that by switching my focus from what I cannot influence to what I actually have influence over and by doing that over and over again — by using questions like the ones above — it becomes easier and easier to stop worrying and to let go of what has happened or what I cannot control.
If you let go of something that happened or some distraction in your life then that might not be the end of it. I have found that each time I let something go it pops up less and less frequently and it has less power over me. Plus, this extra practice will make it easier to let go in the future. Regardless, I do believe that the action and idea of forgiveness will ultimately be beneficial. Thank you for touching upon such a sensitive topic without inserting too much personal opinion. But for me, letting go has been so much easier once I realised that I needed to fill up my time with productive activities that better myself instead of harping on the past and the what-ifs in my head.
Or from learning how to let go and move on in life. It is not always easy.
The Inner Process of Letting Go
But it can be life-changing. I hope they will help you too. Step 1: Know the benefits of not letting go. Why is it sometimes hard to let go of something?
You get to keep feeling like you are right. And like the other person is wrong. And that can be a pleasant feeling and way to look at the situation at hand. You can assume the victim role. And get attention, support and comfort from other people. You can cling to what you know instead, to what is familiar and safe even if it's now just a dream of what you once had.
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Because… What will the long-term consequences be in my life if I do not let go? How will it affect the next 5 years in my life and the relationships I have both with other people and with myself? Step 2: Accept what is, then let go. Whatever is tight in your central column, relax. Try it right now. What is tight?
Important Tips on How to Let Go and Free Yourself | Psychology Today
Relax that. Open your awareness beyond yourself. Become aware of the space around you, the people and objects, the light and sound. Open your awareness to the neighborhood around you. With your mind opening, you can start to feel more open.
Your mind is no longer closed, but has made space for possibilities. You are not fixated on one right way, but are open to everything.
This is the beauty of not-knowing. Open to the beauty that is before you. Step forward with a not-knowing openness. From this place of relaxing your fixed mind, of opening up … take the next step with a stance of not-knowing.