If she wants to talk about the weather, let her talk about the weather. Be curious. Be open. Sometimes the one thing our girls need to hear us say is nothing at all. I am personally aware of how I sometimes use words of belief to cover up for my lack of real belief in my daily life. Do you want to tell me why? You see, the Father is very fond of me. Ah, me Father is so very fond of me. May we be able to speak love into the lives of our girls only and always because our Father speaks love into us — and may we say with Uncle Seamus, the Father is very fond of me. As I said before, this list is by no means exhaustive.
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Hi, Emily. I really appreciate this blog entry. Thank you. I have a 16 year old daughter and a 26 year old daughter. The 16 year old is like an only child now, as her sister is married and on her own — out of state. My relationship with the 16 year old is quite strained — due to both of us being who we are. To be able to speak these things into her life would be wonderful. I will indeed pray about that. I especially like number 4. God bless you richly!
Why is it always the simple things I forget? Totally going to invite my daughter to FroYo this weekend. Every single one of these is gold. That there is one somebody willing to walk with us in the hard stuff. Thank you for this post, Emily. This is so good Emily. Thank you! I have noticed the common cliches can be for some a landing place, and that can become a bondage place. Your time studying and writing is a blessing. I think the 12 things could be for the boys too.
I will share this with my email-list. I love your perspective here…. Our words are soooo powerful.
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Using them to communicate our personal hope in God is such a key! Kids know what adults especially in the church want from them…. What they need is their eyes off of manpleasing and onto God knowing! My almost year old is constantly on top of me and always has something to say about everything I do.
Thank you, Emily! This is an incredibly thoughtful article, Emily, and it has blessed me greatly. I pray that I will be able to live into it with my own year-old daughter. Thank you and God bless you. Thank you for your insight and for your obvious love for teenage girls. My soon to be 17 year old daughter will be a senior next year and my mind is racing with all the things I want to share with her and show her before she leaves for college!
God knows what our girls will face in this modern world and anything to encourage and support their walk with Him beyond our homes is my goal! Look forward to subscribing to your blog. May God bless your ministry! Thank you for this, Emily. I needed to hear this today. Emily, thank you. What I would have given to hear these things when I was young! Thank you for letting Him speak through you.
I am the Mother of five daughters who were raised in a Christian home and I think the religious base was so important in them allowing God to dictate right or wrong to them. I was one of six girls in a family of seven. She would never rave over our looks only give us that same old adage each time we asked how we looked…it prevented us from being too concerned with how we looked as well.
Thank God they are all Mothers today and they remember all these lessons very well…. Here is the post I sent to a friend:. It took so much praying to remind myself that I do not need her approval. My God loves me, yes, me! BTW, my mom is a very special lady. She just has a very hard time relating to me and I have the same problem relating to her.
We are so very different. This is lovely. Thank you for your lovely posts. Such encouraging words to a mom with three daughters. I would also add: stay in community with other Christians. I am trying so hard to make it a priority, and it is hard to start new at my age! Thank you for your wise words!
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These are things we ALL need to hear — and say to others. Thank you for putting it so eloquently — as usual! Oooo, good ones! I love this…. I am now an old mom of a 16 yr old…my oldest being 30…. I am still learning…sometimes I wish I had a redo button…. I really want my youngest to really be ok with her strength and weaknesses…. I have learning issues and she seemed to get the gift from me…. The answer lies in surrender. We try to have more self control. More patience. More love. We try to be a better friend etc. But in reality, it is God who gives us strength. It is the Holy Spirit who fills us up and then those characteristics flow out of us.
It is not us trying harder. Surrender, not try harder. You have totally hit the nail on the head. Emily, these are not just good things to tell my daughter, these are good things for you to remind me. Thank you, friend. I just found you through a friend posting your last blog post on facebook. I am just in love!! This is good stuff for me to soak in for my own heart! It is so freeing!! I am 13 almost 14 and these are some powerful things to hear.
This is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing this wisdom and insight!! I only have boys but Lord willing we will have a girl but will remember this for the future!! I love this. My oldest daughter is 8. I appreciate your insight much more than you know. So good, Emily. Great, great article. Thank you for speaking these truth to encourage mothers and their conversations with their daughters. I know I am taking this to heart. Four nights. If you want to mend this, and you clearly do, then I would recommend some counselling, definitely for you, but ideally for you and your daughter together at some point see links below.
I think it would be really interesting to hear her side of things and that will help you realise the part you play. I also think you need to be honest about what you want from the relationship. Your daughter will never be a substitute for your husband and you say at times she bores you. Maybe she senses that? Do a bit of work on yourself, and you may feel differently about what you see back.
Cruse Bereavement Care: www. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Follow Annalisa on Twitter AnnalisaB. Topics Family Ask Annalisa Barbieri. Parents and parenting features. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Teach your daughter to be the one who stands up first. Teach her to take action. The person who goes first is seen as brave, bold, confident—and a leader. Earnheardt , Ph.
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For example, when your daughter lifts up other people with a kind comment or gesture, particularly other girls who are feeling excluded from an activity, this is a real sign of leadership, a behavior that should be recognized and encouraged. Instilling follow up, being polite, and even sending thank you letters are great habits to help them establish a reputation sooner than later.
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Exposing our daughters to difference in race, ideology, ethnicity, etc. This will help them in an ever-changing, increasingly more global environment. And while speaking about leadership with your daughter is a good start, showing her how to be one through your actions is even better. Organizations like the Girl Scouts really know how to teach these lessons in ways that girls can start to apply at a very early age.
By doing this, you show her that she is already a leader and that we trust her input first, before giving ours. If you are not excited about your job which happens to a lot of us , start a side hustle doing something you love. Show her that you are resourceful and always chasing after something better. She will feed off that energy and know that anything is possible. Leaders see the world as full of opportunities, and they can only feel this way if they have been brought up to believe that anything is possible.
Why does she think that reproductive rights are crucial for girls? What gets hard for her about staying close to her friends? How does she think her school could be improved? But we spend years of practice and observation to learn to become good leaders.
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So we encourage that in our own daughters, to observe the world around them, the people in that world, and the ways in which the can lead and help people around them. Next time your daughter has a decision to make—big or small—sit down with her and help her write out the advantages and disadvantages of her choices. Discuss them with her. I would always engage her afterwards to give input on her thoughts and opinions so she would be comfortable in sharing and knowing her ideas mattered.